Toddler T$&#y Tassle Shirt


Ainsley doesn’t think this shirt is inappropriate because it just looks like trees on a shirt, “how is that inappropriate?” She wants to know.

Which means I deserve a Gold Parenting Star or a Blue Ribbon of Daughter Raising. This means the seven year old is in the minority having not been exposed to Internet Porn or the E Channel yet.

When I mentioned the word “stripper,” she said “what’s a stripper?”

Go me! She’s sheltered enough to remain . . . what’s the word I’m looking for . . . . oh yeah, seven.

Suzi Warren, the creator of this TODDLER TITTY TASSLE T-Shirt sold at Twisted Twee reportedly spoke to Parent Dish, who was quoted on  Stroller Derby, who was quoted on Gateway Pundit , and reportedly claimed to have created this shirt in protest to how the rest of us our dressing our girls.

“The Nipple Tassel t-shirt was designed as a response to my own distaste at seeing mini versions of sexy clothes on young children,” she wrote. “Five-year-olds wearing slashed mini skirts and boob tubes, little thumb-sucking Britneys.

“There is nothing very sexy about a baggy, lap neck, long sleeved t- shirt for a 6-month-old. So by embellishing this style of garment with printed nipple tassels, the result is not that the baby becomes sexualized by the tassels, but that the tassels are made benign and silly by the baby. In fact the more inert, innocent and unaware the infant is, the more ludicrous the contrast becomes.”

Of course, your kid doesn’t get to be naively, gloriously seven if you dress her in a shirt like this, “in protest.” The way the other parents point and refuse to let their kids play with yours will probably invoke questions. Inappropriate questions.

You know who I think this shirt is perfect for? Pedophiles.

You know what I think parents should do to companies who start offering products like these? (Along with their child un-friendly alphabet tea towel which reads “C if for” and has a photo of a Condom also reeks of pedophilia undertones.)

Let them go down in Recession Smoke.

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