“Real” Human Barbie

The Internet is awash with controversy over whether a Ukrainian woman is a “natural” Barbie look-a-like.

Did she have plastic surgery or didn’t she?

Uh, who cares?

The more interesting question is why she wants to emulate an inanimate object — a plastic child’s toy?

To attract men? But, do little boys really grow up fantasizing about dating a woman who looks like Barbie? Little girls are the primary consumers of Barbie.

This woman does look like Barbie, but so does Hugh Hefner’s Harem of Barbies. At least these ex-girlfriends of that old porn codger have expressions and move like humans.

Frankly, I’m not sure I’m convinced that some jokester isn’t taking photos of a real Barbie doll in her Dream House and Photoshopping backgrounds to make her look human-sized. Take that stupid blogosphere!

Let’s say this is, in fact, a real woman who is pretending to be Barbie. WHY?

Well, I’ve been having some feelings lately. You know those pesky annoyances that make men roll their eyes when you try to express them. Or even how annoyed you become when you’re pre-menstrual and you start to cry and keep crying throughout the day and you don’t even know why? Feelings are a real pain in the ass sometimes. Or when you get all irritated that your kids keep talking to you when you’re trying to do something and you really, really want to be the good mom who cares, but you also want them to shut up and quit whining and this makes you feel both irritated and guilty. Or that feeling when you really, really liked a guy and he never called and you wonder what you did wrong and you regret having any feelings about it, feeling weak or stupid for getting invested? Stupid feelings.

You know who doesn’t have feelings? Plastic toys. Barbie. She always has the same pursed lips and blank wide eyes, well, until a dog uses her face for a chew toy. She never has to worry about crying and ruining her mascara, she never has to worry about whether the guy is going to call after he rubs himself on her plastic androgynous groin, hoping not to pop off a leg at the swivel joint.

It’s probably very emotionally convenient to be a plastic doll.

And she’s not the only one. This is some big trend among girls on YouTube, imitating Barbie.

You know what this reminds me of? So Sexy So Soon, a fantastic book that came out in 2008. It was revolutionary in that it very effectively exposed out how advertisers and marketers use children’s sexuality and how, in fact, our sexuality becomes connected to and intertwined with objects they want to sell. They use all sorts of trickery to make us believe clothing, toys, sunglasses, purses and shoes or beer, tires, razors and tools are really sexy.

Evolutionary, without these weird messages, humans are programmed to believe that other humans are sexy. Weird, right? Humans hot for humans. Revolutionary!

Sexualization of objects appears to have been so effective that this woman believes she’s sexier as a plastic object than she is as a human. It’s the opposite of personification of objects. It’s plastification of humans. Hot.

Being human is so 20th Century.

Tracee Sioux is a Law of Attraction Coach at www.traceesioux.com.  She is the author of Love Distortion: Belle, Battered Codependent and Other Love Stories. Contact her at traceesioux@gmail.com.