Last Thursday I accidentally stopped recording the Redskins game while my husband was at a work dinner. I didn’t consciously do it, the DVR has an annoying habit of changing the channel I’m watching to record 20-year-old Seinfeld episodes. I just flipped it back and entered the protect code. He was seriously pissed.
Seriously murderous is how I will feel if someone changes the channel and stops recording the Farewell Season of Oprah which premiers today.
Oprah is my cultural icon of all time. You know that question, “One person, living or dead, who would you want to have dinner with?” Mine is Oprah. If there’s “one person you admire most in the world,” again Oprah. When she does those Oprah Hook-ups the only person I want to be hooked up with is Oprah.
My mother began watching Oprah when she aired after Days of Our Lives and Phil Donahue (which incidentally, I dreamed about last night). I was, and still am, pretty sure she’s the most enlightened person on the Planet Earth.
Over the last 20-something years I’ve spent 4 o’clock with Oprah. I sit down with my snack after a long, productive day and I cry or laugh, cheer and shout, and root for my fellow humans. I root for them to win contests, cry for their sorrow and root for their resilience and healing. I shout when someone makes a dream come true, literally shout in this teary, loud way, with fists in the air, as if it were my own dream come true (which, of course is, to be a best selling author on Oprah). I listen to people honestly convey why they did a crazy, stupid and wrong thing and I allow myself to recognize a piece of me that can relate. I learn about addictions of all kinds and I can relate a little too much. I get jazzed when the people loose the weight. I buy the books and read them like delicious glasses of white wine. I take the classes offered on the website and I listened to every author in Oprah’s Soul Series and took her A New Earth teleclass. Honestly, Oprah has educated me on a million things I probably would have known nothing about. I’ve even changed my health habits in response to her Dr. Oz shows. I’ve often ridden my elliptical machine while watching Oprah, knowing she’d be so proud of me.
Some years I’ve missed her because of work, but not since the DVR was invented. I’m glad my husband never bought me the 25th Anniversary DVD set, because I’m going to need him to buy me the one they market after this year.
She’s going to start her own OWN Network and I’m proud of her. Honestly, last year I was getting worried about her being so tired, not taking care of herself and working all the time. I kept thinking I should send her a letter, telling her we’ll be okay if she quits and takes care of herself. I totally plan to subscribe to OWN. I don’t really even care how much it costs. I like her “young pups,” but not the way I love Oprah. I wonder if she’ll have a weekly show or something that will give me my Oprah fix?
I suppose the next 20 years will be like the summer, when you have to make do with old Oprah reruns and it doesn’t really matter if you miss them. Sometimes they can still make you shout and cry (like yesterday when I saw Will.I.Am. pay off two people’s mortgages). After today, the Oprah Fall Premier will never come again.
This year, at 4 o’clock you’ll find me where I have always been: watching Oprah, eating my snack, and sharing emotional and psychic space with all the other millions of people in the world doing the exact same thing. I’ll be half-sad the whole time thinking, this is the last one exactly like this.
Honey, I’m so sorry I stopped recording the Redskins game. Please don’t take it out on Oprah.
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