Respect Pays off for Kevin

Remember Kevin? He was our teenage friend who wanted to know why women didn’t like being called curvy. I suggested, in a nutshell, that maybe the girl wanted her self to be acknowledged before Kevin got all into her curvy bod. Click HERE if you don’t remember.

Kevin took my advice and it worked out for him. He and the girl have been on a couple of dates. With their permission, here’s how the juicy goodness of respectful dating went down:

Dear E,

This is Kevin. We met a few weeks ago.  I genuinely meant to compliment you, but in so doing used a poor choice of words that deeply offended you. I  am so sorry for any hurt I may have caused you. You are a really intelligent girl and I have great respect for you. You are also very beautiful.  While I meant to compliment you, it was inappropriate for me to comment on your physical appearance after meeting you for the first time.

I hope you choose to accept my apology, but if not, I sincerely wish you the best in life and I am still grateful for having met you.

Kevin


Hi Kevin. Gosh, I have such mixed emotions on this. You seemed like such a sweet guy at first and so cute!  That’s why I was so disappointed when you started commenting on my body and taking the conversation into the gutter.  I had some weight issues when I was younger, so maybe I’m overly sensitive of any comments that hint at being over-weight.  Also, because I’m very curvy, I’ve too often had to deal with boys who look at me primarily in a sexual/physical way. Therefore your comments, as well intentioned as they may have been, were really insulting. It also didn’t help that you kept staring at my chest.  That is something I’m very self-conscious about.

I do think it would be unfair for me to write you off as a jerk, based on a few, unfortunate word choices. So yes, I’m willing to forgive and forget and might even meet you for coffee, like we had talked about, but the terms are that you have to pay and I get to order something really extravagant like a large, caramel macchiato…..just joking 😉

P.S. Regarding the slap across the face….well, I’m an old fashioned girl and I felt it was the most appropriate response for a guy who was being disrespectful to me.  I will say that you took the slap like a gentleman by turning the other cheek and then coming back to make a sincere apology. Most boys would be more consumed with their own pride and resentful of the girl who slapped them.

Kevin also expounded on what he learned from this experience in an email to me:
Hi Tracee!  I emailed E. and absolutely, she’s comfortable with you publishing the email exchange we had.
I really do feel like I’ve grown up a lot from this whole experience.  Btw, I had a heart to heart chat with my Dad about the incident (still too embarrassed to tell my mom, who would probably scold me, lol).  He was actually very understanding and gave me some great advice.  He also told me not to feel too bad about getting slapped by a girl, as its par for the course for many boys in their journey to manhood.  What’s more important is how you handle it and what you learn from it.  He then proceeded to share a story of his own, that was also somewhat amusing.

During college, my father was on the receiving end of a breakup with his girlfriend.  She was very thoughtful in explaining why they should go their separate ways.  His reaction on the other hand, was one of pleasure and relief, almost thanking her for breaking up with him.  Insulted by his lack of disappointment, she gave him a stinging slap on the cheek and walked off.  He stood their alone, rubbing his cheek, bewildered….after all, he was the one that got dumped.  Then he realized that he had showed her no sensitivity whatsoever.  The lesson he learned was that being sensitive and compassionate with women is a big part of being a gentleman.  I’m glad to have learned that lesson at his expense!  lol

–kevin

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