I’m People Rich! I don’t know how you would measure the stats, but I’m pretty sure I’m in the top 1% when it comes to the people in my life.
I realized this, anew and with bigger impact, recently. Someone entered my life and there was potential. It didn’t feel right to me and I couldn’t figure out why it was bothering me. Why did I feel so undervalued by the general flakiness and social inconsideration of this person?
Do I expect too much from friendship, relationships and social interaction? I queried myself. Am I doing friendship wrong and being “needy and desperate?”
The question made me take a good hard look at the people in my life. Guess what I found?
God and the Universe have been soooo generous that I’m used to it. Now, receiving less than authentic connection and real consideration and genuine generosity feels icky to me.
I looked at my closest relationships and realized that my friends are very affirming of who I am and they are ridiculously generous with me. My friend Jenny sends me texts that literally read like Justin Beiber fan mail: I love you so Tracee Sioux . . . you deserve that kind of love . . . because you ARE that kind of love. You’re one of the most generous, caring, strong people I’ve ever known. That wasn’t for any special occasion, it’s just the way she treats me on a regular basis.
My friend Anna comes to help me paint my bedroom and every minute I spend with her I feel like I’m a wonderful human being that has really amazing gifts to offer. I have a group of smart, spiritually powerful entrepreneurs, these people have been active and generous participants in my own healing process and I’m so grateful. My friend Shauntelle sends me little messages, Just want you to know you’re appreciated. I open my Facebook and there’s a lovely testimonial, unsolicited, from my energy worker CJ McDaniel.
People I’ve never even met in person, such as Milly Moon, a gifted artist in Ireland, give me generous gifts. She emailed me a beautiful portrait of my Soul and tells me she felt inspired to paint it for me. It’s perfect for The Year of YES! and it becomes the marketing for the whole coaching program.
Business people with valuable unsolicited advice share what they know with me, including Michelle Vandepas, Meadow DeVor, Khama Anku and Andy Dooley. I go on free trips to Sedona and Ed and Katherine let me stay in their house. I’m invited to attend conferences like Emerging Women where I sit at the feet—literally— of great spiritual leaders, because the Universe is that generous with me. I don’t even solicit media and I get free press on Forbes.com, Today.com and radio shows on Women Change the World. My graphic designer Revka Sterns is so generous with me that I regularly wonder how I got so lucky. A Feng Shui Angel, Valerie Moore, comes to my house, unsolicited and without charge, to help me soften into my own feminine heart.
A woman I don’t even know gave me a brand new pair of expensive crossfit shoes the other day. If you heard the number of compliments I get every time I leave the house you’d be jealous of me. Hello, I don’t even have to leave the house because I get actual fan mail. Anne-Marie Sherrer, founder of Women Awaken heard that I was softening and offered two pink scarves with precious meaning to her, which I’ve been wearing everyday. I say I am weary in a coffee shop and a stranger delivers the perfect Bible verse to my table, scrawled on a napkin. My friend Christina Verg at AWP Aesthetics and Spa gave me discount laser procedures and two free facials last year. This is my everyday ya’ll.
Even my co-parent is so generous with me by stepping up and being flexible with the parenting. My brother Klint makes a special point, and has ever since forever, to make sure I know that he loves me no matter what. My children write me loves notes telling me how wonderful I am all the time. If I told you all of the ways people, God, the Universe are generous with me it would get boring for you because it’s an endless list.
(This a very, very high bar for any man that comes into my life romantically, I realize, because he has to make me feel more special than all of these people to be granted the deep devotion of my feminine heart.)
I concluded: I’m not doing relationships wrong, the evidence is the the results. My life is overflowing with generous and kind people and intimate and connected relationships.
I am People Rich. And I like it. And I’ve fostered it. And . . . wait for it. . . I am worthy of it.
What’s the Law of Attraction and Relationships Secret to getting this People Rich?
1. What you put out comes back. For all of these people who have been generous with me, I have been generous with them. If I haven’t directly been generous with them, I have paid it forward or more accurately I started paying it and it returned to me. Gifts, money, time, advice, a favor, giving attention, validation, putting out helpful information, sharing parts of my story that help others, and also just being bright and shiny in the world with a smile for fellow travelers—ALL of that counts for generosity.
2. Say YES! to what you want. When people offer me something—a lunch, a compliment, a pair of shoes, free tickets to a concert, help with something, good advice, a thoughtful note—I accept and receive it and thank them and the Universe and God for it. YesThankYouMorePlease!
3. Say NO! to what you don’t want. I was reading my memoir The Year of YES! and I noticed that last year I writing about people who were not treating me the way I wanted to be treated. They were flaky and disrespectful of my time and sucking my generosity without returning and feeding off my energy and spewing out negativity. Those people are not in my life now. None of them. (Fine. There’s one step-father left).
4. Expectations are Healthy. I know it’s all the spiritual rage to say that we’ll be happier if we release all expectations of others and find inner peace and happiness. But, I’ve found that to be silly nonsense. People rise to expectations or they don’t. I have high expectations for myself, I have high expectations for friendships, I have high expectations for my children, I have high expectations for my clients, I have high expectations for my romantic relationships. You get what you expect. To put it another way, you get what you settle for. You teach people how to treat you.
5. Be Choosy. It matters who you allow in your life. You are the culmination of the five closest people in your life. If you look at the qualities of the people who you’re spending your time with and you’re not flattered to be associated with them, it’s time to make a serious change. The people in your life are really a reflection of who YOU’RE being. If you don’t like that reflection it’s on YOU for choosing those people. I am quite flattered by the reflection I see coming back at me.
6. Communicate with Integrity. People are people. They are struggling just as hard, and sometimes harder than you. Last year I can think of several situations that invoked conflict between myself and close friends. In fact, conflict occurred in almost all of my closest relationships last year. Relationships don’t suck if there is conflict. All healthy relationships have conflict. A free pass or two is warranted. The deciding factor is how the involved people handle the conflict. Hey I have an issue I want to discuss is different than You’re a lousy human being who is ruining my happiness. The people in my life choose to resolve conflict respectfully, as in they agree to address the conflict out of a sense of protection and nurturing of the relationship. Hey, I love you and I don’t want to lose you so let’s work this out so it works for both of us, is the quality of communication you should expect.
I’m People Rich and I wish nothing less for you. YesThankYouMorePlease!