Observations of a Kindergarten Sub

I substituted Kindergarten for 2 days.

On both days I had lunch duty.

No wonder kids are obese. School lunch is an unhealthy mixture of sweets and low-quality carbohydrates.

On one day the 5-year-olds were served TWO hamburgers with white bread buns, french fries and a cookie, one stale slice of tomato, one strip of iceberg lettuce, and two small slices of pear.

The next lunch was a greasy pizza slice, tater tots, a cookie and peaches in sugar syrup.

On what planet is that a healthy diet for a small human?

Pack a lunch.

Kindergarten girls are cute and sweet when they are singing, “I kissed a girl and I liked it . . tastes like cherry chap stick,” while they cut and paste.

It’s a good song. Of course, she doesn’t know what she meant and I wasn’t going to enlighten her.

Sometimes ignorance IS bliss.

There is a huge variation in intellect, knowledge and ability among Kindergartners. It only takes about an hour to determine which is which and who is who.

There is an obvious correlation between the intellect, knowledge and ability and the child’s poverty level and parental involvement. How can you tell? Spend five minutes with a pack of Kindergartners and you know.

It’s doubtful whether standardized testing or increased funding have a shot at correcting the fundamental problem of disparity.

You have the best shot if you win the Parent Lottery.

What’s with the teeth? It’s not expensive to tackle a toddler and run a toothbrush over their little baby choppers. You would presume its much more expensive to visit the dentist and pay $150-$300 per tooth for putting silver fillings and caps on every single tooth.

It’s a mouthful of paradox.

Girls are natural-born leaders. The more time I spend with young children and young teens, the more I believe that if it were not for historically keeping women and girls down with brute force, rape and emotional manipulations like, “God wants you to submit to men, it’s in the Bible,” women would be the natural leaders of the Planet Earth.

Girls are compassionate leaders who don’t want to leave anyone behind. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a girl zip through her work and lean over and help a slower child with their work. She’ll help them cut, explain the directions again, and patiently supply them with the answer.

Today’s American girl is lucky.

Boys are sweet. It’s hard not to love them. Of course they have a hard time sitting still. Who doesn’t?

There should be more movement in school.