Knaamys (pro. names) of the 20th Century

By TRACEE SIOUX

The most hysterical thing about substitute teaching are the names of the kids.

Not the names themselves . . .

But, the reaction of the kids when you phonetically read their names.

They snicker. They talk to you like YOU’RE the stupid one for mispronouncing their names when you call roll.

It takes about everything I have not to say out loud, “Its not MY fault your mother doesn’t know how to spell. I read the word correctly.”

What on earth possessed the parents of the 20th Century to misspell and “cutesify” their baby’s names?

What on earth possessed me to do this to myself with the name Tracee Sioux? As a writer, its all well and good – memorable, interesting.

As a substitute teacher, it’s just annoying. I’m so over explaining it: where it came from, whether I’m a Native American, how to pronounce it. Seriously, I’m almost considering taking my husband’s nice, normal name so I can stop having the same conversation every single time I meet someone or introduce myself. Why did I think this would be an interesting conversation to have for the rest of my life? Only another 60 years to go.

Note to parents of 21st Century parents – if you want to name your kid Jennifer – just name her Jennifer and not Gwennipher. If you want to name your kid Simone try not to throw in a silent Y at the end.