Everywhere I look, especially on the Internets, I hear women whine, “It’s so hard to like my body!” This from beautiful women who essentially look like the above pictured woman.
WHAT. ARE. YOU. TALKING. ABOUT!?!?
YOU are making it hard.
The truth is that it is very, very simple.
IF you wake in the morning, look at your image in the mirror and treat it like total shit, with hateful words, harsh criticisms and judgmental pulling, prodding and poking – picking yourself apart, bit by bit, THEN of course it is “so hard to like your body.” In fact, it’s so hard that it will never, ever-in-a-million years happen.
Beware, I’m about to seriously invalidate your feelings: These are not real feelings, Ladies. These are habitual negative thoughts that your brain is tracking in a spiral. It’s a negative brain loop – that you are doing to yourself. If you can stop the brain looping these feelings will stop. I promise.
The media is not doing this to you.
Your boyfriend or husband is not doing this to you.
Your family is not doing this to you.
The culture is not doing this to you.
Your “prettier” best friend is not doing this to you.
YOU are doing this to YOU.
YOU are choosing to do this to yourself. It is mean, it is wrong, and it is going on inside YOUR head. Which means, that you and only YOU have control over the entire process.
You could, if you choose, wake up and look in the mirror and voluntarily look past your flaws and imperfections. You could, if you wanted to, look in the mirror and say, “You’re looking good today! or “Hey, baby, you’re looking like the very picture of health and vitality,” or “Wow, you’re simply stunning today!” or dear God, if it works, “You’re so hot, every man in the world wants to F#$% you.” Whatever it is that will put a spring in your step and allow you to go through the work of making the world a better place with your head held high.
If you insist on this kind and flattering treatment of your body, then and only then, will your feelings follow your brain into a more positive brain loop about your body. It can not happen the other way. You will never, ever-in-a-million years be finished talking about all the flaws of your body until you simply demand that you stop.
Stop. Right. This. Very. Minute.
These are not real feelings. There is no bleeping way that 97% of women truly and really, honestly feel this shitty about their female human suits on a daily basis, as this Glamour article suggests.
We’re the beautiful half of the species. For God’s sake, our male counterparts are bald or balding, grow hair in their ears, out their noses, on their shoulders, asses, bellies and backs, they’re smelly, beer bellied and have sweaty, stinky balls hanging off their ape-like bodies. And they feel F##% GREAT about themselves. That just doesn’t add up.
Negative self-talk is a bad emotional habit.
Habits can be broken. Negative self talk is only a habit. Criticism and beating yourself up is a habit. It is not a natural and normal feeling. It is not what being a woman is. It is not what being a woman in this culture, with all this beauty pressure surrounding you, really feels like.
When you walk by the Victoria’s Secret window that says “Hello, Bombshell!” You have a choice. You can take it as a you’ll-never-measure-up-to-this-Victoria’s-Secret-underwear-model criticism, OR you can say, “Hello!” as if the comment was about YOU! Personally, I prefer and enjoy the latter.
The next time you catch yourself looking in the mirror and/or being cruel to a part of your body, please imagine me, Tracee Sioux, with my hands on my hips and wide eyes, coming to your worthy body’s defense saying, DO NOT TALK ABOUT MY SISTER LIKE THAT! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
Maybe that will silence the evil, cruel b*tch that lives inside your head, because it is about time someone stood up to her.
Help me change my life? That’s what Tracee Sioux does for her clients every day. Subscribe to her newsletter for more information.