The idea of being aligned with what I truly want is coming up for me a lot lately. Even among my circle of close friends it’s appearing. Teaching me. Teaching us.
People think they know what they want. But, most of the time, with further inquiry they’ve somehow convinced themselves that they can’t have it. So, they then try to convince themselves they want something more achievable. They believe its more achievable, but I wonder if it really is.
I’ll use a few easy examples: on my dream board I have two numbers. Size 8 and 135 pounds. These are fitness goals for me. But, guess what? They conflict. I am currently a size 8, but I weigh 145 pounds, not 135 pounds. As long as I insist on being a size 8, I’ll never make it to 135 pounds.
Of course, I ripped the size 8 goal off my dream board and am focusing on the other goal.
I find this to be true about our geographical location as well.
I’ve wanted to move to a more conducive climate, with more opportunities for myself professionally and more activities for our family, for about 7 years.
But, I could never really identify where, exactly, I wanted to live. I have two conflicting places on my dream board and prayed for both of them regularly. I have Portland, Oregon on my dream board and I also have a “small coastal town in California, near a big city” on my dream board. Hmmmm. How exactly can God deliver on them both simultaneously?
The thing is, I need more sunshine than Portland can offer.
I also need to make a great deal more money to live in a small coastal town in California.
My knowledge of these facts, about myself, keep my dream from me.
The fact that I’m trying to simultaneously attract two different locations keep them both from me.
I did another dream board and since I could never get very clear on where, exactly, I wanted to live I put the words “My Place.”
Within six months my husband was informed that we’d be moving to the Fort Collins, Colorado area. We just visited and it felt exactly like “My Place.” To both of us. To our whole family. I can see us being very, very happy there. Everything about it – from the people to the culture to the opportunities – felt like Our Place.
To apply this to your own life – take an inventory of what you’ve been asking for and see if any of them conflict.
Have you been asking for two different kinds of jobs or employment? Have you been simultaneously asking to be a stay-at-home-mom and work outside the home (another of my own internal conflicts until recently), have you been trying to move to two different geographic locations, have you been torn between two lovers, have you been trying to become a mother but resisting all the emotional and physical stuff that comes with motherhood, have you been torn between a desire for love and living with a person incapable of giving it to you, have you been trying to get a certain type of job and taking detour after detour? Have you been trying to build wealth, but focusing on debt? Have you been trying to become thin, but criticizing thin people? Have you been hating the wealthy, while trying to improve your own finances? Have you been dragging the 250 pound dead-weight of an uncooperative significant other who isn’t as sold on your dream as you are? (Getting on the same page about what you’re trying to attract and you’ve got significantly more power instantly).
Give up one of the things that conflict and the other will flow easier. Once you figure out how to do it, it’s a pretty easy thing to teach your kids too.
Contact me firstname.lastname@example.org if you want to arrange a life coaching session to figure out if you’re blocking what you’re trying to achieve.