Lately I haven’t been having enough play in my life. It’s been all stress and anxiety. The “what ifs” have been having a circus in my brain, doing cartwheels, making me a mess of fearful futures that aren’t even that scary. The biggest “what ifs” being absurd like, “what if I won’t have anything to do?”
It’s been helping to have friends and family who are willing to go do playful things with me and the kids. Going to the big city pool with my friend Jenny and her kids. Going school clothes shopping yesterday and rocking some clearance racks at Macy’s.
Today we’re going to the Denver Zoo with my Mother-in-Law. We’ve never been to this zoo, so it should be fun.
Fun. Fun. Fun.
It’s a priceless commodity and I’m glad to finally have some access to it. For the past few months I’ve been struggling to let myself get anywhere near feeling it. We’ve been doing some fun stuff, but I’ve been so bound up in fear that I wasn’t coming close to having any fun. But, the medication is doing its job and I’ve been feeling fun again.
Feeling like maybe, just maybe I’ll be able to get back on my horse and ride. Like maybe I’ll be able to take a risk or two again. Like maybe I still have some goals that I might possibly be able to achieve in this lifetime. Like maybe, just maybe there is still some purpose for me, something to keep my eye on and move toward.
So, today, we’ll go to the zoo. And it will be fun. I’m determined to have some fun. I’m determined to have a positive attitude and just watch my kids and the animals and chat with my MIL and maybe enjoy the taste of a snow cone.
Tracee Sioux is a Law of Attraction Coach at www.traceesioux.com. She is the author of Love Distortion: Belle, Battered Codependent and Other Love Stories. Contact her at email@example.com.