She Liked It

The other day a group of junior high boys were laughing about having pantsed a girl.

One of them had pulled her pants down and it was extra-hilarious that she was wearing a thong.

I told them that was actually the criminal offense of sexual assault. I told them if I were the principal, I would have them prosecuted in criminal court for doing that.

But, she liked it! They told me.

No she didn’t, I told them. Girls don’t like it when boys rip their clothes off without their consent.

Yes, she liked it! They insisted.

I told them if I were principal I’d have them sent to detention for saying something so stupid.

Gee, I wonder where boys might get the idea that girls might like it?

Could it be the same places, stories, where girls get the idea that it’s hot for boys to harm them, that it’s a natural turn-on for boys to want to destroy them, silence them, isolate them, give up their futures?

Places like Twilight, Beauty and the Beast, Ariel?

It’s necessary to say: It’s not sane to love someone who treats you poorly, hurts you or threatens to hurt you or humiliates you in public. It’s not hot to mix sex and violence. Violence against yourself or against a girl you like is not a turn on. It is not sane to love your abuser. It is not sane to abuse someone you love.

It’s fundamental.

But, I think it’s come to this, parents need to repeat these messages to both boys and girls.