Procrastination has turned out to be one of my greatest gifts.
You would not believe how much amazing stuff I get done because I — for some reason — do. not. want. to. finish. my. book.
Why? I can’t even answer this question. Honestly, I can’t. Is it fear of success? It it fear of failure? Is it the idea that putting it out there will somehow lock me in to an opinion that I may not hold forever?
I wrote the book three years ago. I have had 12 people edit it. I have had professionals tell me it’s good. I’ve re-edited it and re-written it. I need to re-edit and re-write it again. But, the idea of it makes me want to get wildly drunk. And since I always feel like shit after I do that. . .
I think of something else to do. Now, I’m a productive person. I enjoy knocking things off my list. I like looking back at my day and being able to say, “I got this and this and that done.” This rules out sitting on the couch and watching TV instead of writing the book. Which means I have to look around and invent productive things to do.
I have cleaned out my garage, my basement, written tons of articles and sent loads of query letters. Hell, to be honest I’ve built an entire writing business all because I didn’t want to finish that stupid book. I built and crashed an entire skincare company because I didn’t want to touch this book.
I’ve also spent quite a lot of time and energy exploring my inner spiritual life, in part, because it’s easier to talk about why I’m not finishing this book than it is to actually just sit down and finish the book.
My house is clean, I’m making a living, I’ve met a bunch of people on Facebook (which really has turned into more work), cleared some space in my spiritual and emotional life, built this blog and done a bunch of other stuff too. All so I could procrastinate this book.
Without procrastination I never would have gotten so much accomplished.
Buy the book I did actually publish please, Love Distortion: Belle, Battered Codependent and Other Love Stories.
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