Girls Lowered The Bar – Steve Harvey

Did anyone see Steve Harvey on Friday’s Oprah? His new book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man is at the top of The New York Time’s Best Seller List.

Harvey said some insightful things on Oprah, so insightful that she’s having him back for a whole hour.

The gist of what he said, as it applies to girls is:

Boys and men will do whatever girls and women require them to do to get “the cookie.” If girls require it they will get married, buy them jewelry, get better jobs, take them on various dates, go to college, romance them, behave like gentlemen, and {{{gasp}}} treat girls with respect.

The trouble , he says, is that girls and women lowered the bar out of desperation and required nothing of boys and men. We no longer require respect before we give up the cookie and so we get no respect. We no longer require dates and dinner and courtship and gentlemanly behavior, therefore courtship is dead, gentlemen appear extinct. A text message or a poke on Facebook became enough and so it is.

I wish I could say I was offended by the fact that women were portrayed as desperate for love, affection and attention. But, as I was telling a friend the other day –  I was the cheapest date EVER. I once had a boyfriend who would “borrow” money from his mother to go to Taco Bell and he wouldn’t even buy me a taco  (back when they cost less than 50 cents.) I had another boyfriend who would go on fancy vacations without me because as a hungry reporter I couldn’t afford to pay my way. I had one boyfriend who felt he could just move in with me because he loaned me $100 for my rent one single month.

It totally rang true for me. It still does in a lot of ways. My bar has always been pretty low as far as expectations for gentlemanly behavior, courtship, one-sided sacrifice, dates, and respect in general.

What about the rest of you? Did you keep the bar high or lower it? More importantly, how will you encourage your daughter to raise the bar and expect more from boys and men?

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