I was honored to have been asked to speak at Whole Life Center for Spiritual Living about the subject of Conscious Motherhood on Mother’s Day, 2013. Rev. Cheri very flatteringly introduced me as the most powerful conscious mother she knows. *blush* & *bow* Below is a synopsis of my talk. (Please insert laughter where appropriate.)
5 Rules of Conscious Motherhood
I currently hold the title “The Best Mother in the World,” and “The Meanest Mother in the World,” this is determined by whether I’m asking one of my children to clean up dog poop. I am equally proud of both titles.
It takes 10,000 hours of practice to get good at anything. This is why babies bounce.
I was lucky to have been raised by a professional Mother, who was raised by a professional Mother. Their Mothering has informed my Mothering. I was privileged to have grown up in a religion and culture which observes that the Godhead is both feminine and masculine. In other words, God has a wife, Heavenly Mother. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, at its best, reveres Motherhood as the highest and holiest calling of the human experience. Motherhood, the nurturing, raising and teaching of children, is sacred and the most like-God activity that humans can participate in. I have carried this identity into my own Motherhood. It has been core to my own experience of Mothering. It is a role that I take seriously and I have always tried to Mother as consciously as possible.
A Mother is the most Powerful, Authentically Powerful, Being in the Whole Universe, next to God. I can grow an entire human in an organ the size of my fist in only nine months. We create humans—just as God does. Men, what can you do?
The 5 Rules of Conscious Mothering
- Be Authentic: You, specifically, were chosen to Mother your children, because they need YOU. It was not random. It is not a mistake. It is not by coincidence. YOU were chosen by them and by God. Out of all the women in the world who live and have lived you, and only you, are able to provide the experience, the example, the lessons, the exact right Mothering to these specific children. These children did not come to you to be raised by some crazy cultural idea of the “Perfect Mother.” They were not born to be reared by SuperMom. They needed—and wanted—who you really are. Be your Authentic Self when mothering because you are the Perfect Mother for your children.
- Have Fun! If you’re not having any fun, you’re doing it wrong. When there is an opportunity to jump in a dirty lake—jump! If you’re asked to have a dance off in front of the picture window—Dance! Motherhood is supposed to be an experience of joy. Children bring with them a sense of play that many of us lose in adulthood. Mothering is experiencing the world anew, through new eyes. Have Fun!
- Clean Up Your “Stuff”: negative generational cycles end when you clean up your own stuff. Clean up your resentments, angers and hurts. Clean up the cycles of crap that have been polluting your family tree so you don’t pass it down to your children. You know what experiences you don’t want your children to experience. Seek healing, visit healers, invest in Coaching, do whatever you have to do to break the cycles and let your stuff go. What is cleaned up inside you does not get passed down to your children. Live the kind of life you want them to live and they will follow you.
- Teach Choice & Hold Them Accountable: Your job is not to prevent all bad things from happening to your children. Your job is not to protect them from life. Your job is to help them learn how to navigate life—the good and the bad, the easy and the hard. Your job is to teach them how to live, how to be alive. The Universe operates on choices. We choose what we believe and we manifest that through choices we make. Allow your children the crucial activity of making choices while you’re still there to direct them. Don’t bail them out. Hold them accountable, because the Universe will. Allow them to make choices that you know aren’t the best choices. If your son is about to jump out of a treehouse, let him. If he breaks an arm it’s not the end of the world, but a good lesson in Natural Law. Making good choices takes practice. Let them practice.
- Teach Them Who They Are: Teach your children who they are, not what to do. Children are holy, sacred and powerful beings made up of God-Stuff. They are great and powerful Souls having a human experience. Having this knowing about who they are will carry them through whatever they face in life.
Keep Calm & Mother On!