Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
Generally this verse is presented as how we should behave toward others.
My interpretation, and the one I recommend for you to share with your daughters, is to use this as a guide to know whether people truly love them, or want to possess them, want them to be their servant, want to use them as emotional crutch or emotional punching bag.
As a test, we should ask ourselves, and teach our daughters to do the same : Is this person patient and kind? Or envious, boastful, arrogant, rude, insisting on his own way, irritable, and resentful? Is he rejoicing in wrong-doing and being untruthful?
If he can’t pass this test, then, this is not Love. It must be something else then.
There are other things that masquerade as “Love.” Especially when we’re young, naive, inexperienced and hormones are coursing through our mind, body and soul, throwing us off-kilter. Most media messages about love do us no great service by making every single emotional and sexual attraction out to be love.
Our daughters need to know that there are other exciting and thrilling emotions that masquerade as love. You’re the perfect person to explain this, because you’ve probably experienced some of them.
It might feel like what you imagine love might feel like, a rush of Oxytocin to the brain, a Love Drunk, a passionate high, a crazy persistent, all-consuming crush, the smell of his pheromones lighting up yours, sexual attraction, physical chemistry, an irrational need to be desired by a specific person because he’s the quarterback or the cutest guy you’ve ever seen.
Still, if he can’t pass The Love Test, it might be a lot of exciting, thrilling, scary, intoxicating, dangerous things, but it’s not Love.
It’s a great test for any human being who claims to love you, but behaves otherwise.
Valentine’s Day is coming. Now, would be a prime time to address the difference. Love is in the air. But, so are a whole lot of other things masquerading as Cupid and Aphrodite. Maybe checking into Law of Attraction and how it relates to your relationship would be a good way to start this process.
Tracee Sioux is a Law of Attraction Coach at www.traceesioux.com. She is the author of Love Distortion: Belle, Battered Codependent and Other Love Stories. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.