There’s a tendency to carry “junk” to the family gatherings around the holidays.
They’re disappointed in me because I …
… didn’t go to the right college.
… married outside of my race, class or religion.
… got pregnant in high school.
… got arrested.
… forsook the family religion.
… voted for the wrong party.
… am gay.
Everybody does it, at some point, to some degree. Carries this feeling of guilt or failure or “not enough” to the family gathering with them. It kind of ruins the party, makes you not want to go.
This summer, I went to my cousin’s wedding. No one knew I was coming. My grandfather on the other side of the family had died and I was in town for his funeral. It was a happy coincidence that it was the same weekend.
As my cousins, aunts and uncles saw me unexpectedly, I saw a genuine light in their eyes. They were happy, excited to see me. It was so unplanned and unexpected that it made me suddenly see, in a way I hadn’t internalized before, that these people like me, they really like me. They love me. I am a person in their life that they are glad to know. That old baggage I carry into the gathering every now and then doesn’t matter to them. They are my people. It was a wonderful sense of belonging. I had so much fun basking in it and dancing that night.
That’s my Christmas Wish for all of you.
Drop the baggage. See the light in their eyes.
Tracee Sioux is a Law of Attraction Coach at www.traceesioux.com. She is the author of Love Distortion: Belle, Battered Codependent and Other Love Stories. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.