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The Girl Revolution in New York Times Magazine

Very Public Exposure

Ainsley and I were in the New York Times Magazine on Friday. It was risky and scary, though important, because the topic was early puberty. TGR Body, our craptastic-ingredient-free skincare line (many skincare products are thought to have toxins that interfere with hormones), and The Girl Revolution were both highlighted.

You know I’ve researched the issue and shared the information here, but I’ve not discussed our personal experience. We considered the decision carefully — Ainsley, myself and her dad — and we felt that discussing it in public would be useful for other parents and girls. And it has been. The writer, Elizabeth Weil, has two girls of similar age to Ainsley and vowed to present us in a positive light, unembarassing, not humiliating. I thank her for keeping her word. I’ve received several emails of support, other parents and girls sharing their own experiences; thank you notes for being brave and helping them understand what’s happening with their daughters; making them feel less alone.

We chose not to have Ainsley’s face appear in the photographs because we couldn’t really determine the consequences of that.

Shame & Causes

I also felt that choosing not to talk about it added some sort of shame to early puberty, as if we had done something wrong to, as you hear constantly “allow girls to grow up too fast.” Well, we’re not ashamed and we shouldn’t be. We didn’t do anything to cause it. We didn’t neglect to do anything that caused it. We didn’t do a damn thing to “make our girls grow up too fast.”

It might be the hormones in meat and milk, it might be pesticides, it might be flame retardants, it might be the plastic Playtex insert baby bottles we microwaved when she was a baby, it might be eating more protein than our ancestors, it could be anything. Or it’s possible that it is none of these things.

It might even be evolution in action right before our very eyes. The world is on fast forward with our explosion of technology, maybe evolutionarily there is a very important reason for developing faster as a species that we simply don’t understand yet. Everything is happening faster for them, we expect more of them. Ainsley is already doing math that we weren’t expected to know until the 7th grade. They blog and learn PowerPoint in elementary school. These girls have not become adults and while we may be afraid of the consequences of early puberty, we don’t know the outcome yet. It’s not only happening to girls, it’s happening to boys as well. It’s not happening only in the United States where many of the suspected causes are more prevalent, it’s happening all over the world (Hindustan Times article). It’s at least possible that it is not harmful, but helpful in some way.

Either way, it is what it is, we’re not likely to stop it, at least not before this crop of girls develop into teenagers. The only thing to do is accept it, and dare I say, even embrace it.

New Developments

Since last year Ainsley has continued to mature. But, it hasn’t been as emotionally or developmentally disastrous as I had feared. In fact, the girls in her class discuss their “stages of development” very openly. They trust The Care and Keeping of You by American Girl as the Bible of Puberty. As it turns out Ainsley is #7 out of 10, not # 1, in getting a bra in her 4th grade class. It was one of the best days of her life. Getting a bra is a badge of honor with the girls debating the best colors to get (tan) and the best places to buy them (Target). Girls appear to be discussing their developmental stages openly with their parents (someone had to buy them a bra). They shave their armpits, and sometimes legs, as a matter of course and are even excited about it.

Juxtapose this to the many stories you hear from women about their first menses: no one told me it was coming and I thought I was dying; I didn’t tell my mom for three days; she saw the laundry and finally explained it to me; it felt shameful to me and no one ever talked about it; my mother called it a curse and told me it would be horrible; etc. You’ve heard the stories and maybe it’s your story. Things feel different now. Parents who went through those experiences and didn’t enjoy them are communicating with their daughters about the experience of development and puberty. Girls, in general, know about and don’t fear their periods or getting breasts. Rather than weird clinical books with bizarre diagrams, they are given fun books like The Care and Keeping of You, replacing Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret (we must, we must, we must increase our bust!).

Sacred & Powerful Gift

If you’ve ever read The Red Tent, (and if you haven’t you should) you know that once upon a time, for thousands of years, a woman’s first menses was a celebratory and sacred, holy, exciting event. Women held rituals to initiate a woman in her various stages of development — from menses to birth to menopause — Girl, Maiden, Mother, Crone. I’d like to see that tradition resurrected. As I mentioned in New York Times Magazine I do intend to throw a party. Even if it’s just a party of her and I — a nice dinner and the Chocolate Cafe and maybe a piece of commemorative jewelry. Or a women’s circle ritual with our girlfriends at my friend Anna’s Women’s Sacred Way studio. I’m all prepared for her first period with a Red Goddess Celebration Box, filled with essential oils, eye pillows, letters from her grandmothers, etc. I have panty liners stashed away, just in case. I’d like to share an experience different from a tampon or douche commercial. I’d love to share an experience of menstruation as a sacred gift able to produce life, a source of power. (For more on the power of our cycles read Red Moon and The Optimized Woman: If You Want to Get Ahead Get a Cycle.) When I go to the bathroom to cry, it will likely be bitter-sweet, a mixture of joy and of saying good-bye to the baby stages of my little girl —  knowing that precious, tender time will vanish from our lives forever. I imagine that’s what mothers have done for eons.

Puberty, whenever it comes, is not tragic. It’s a life-giving, sacred and exciting gift. Women have been having periods and growing breasts since the dawn of time, and we’ll keep on doing it until the end of time. We’ve lived, flourished and nurtured ourselves at varying degrees during different phases of history. Now is the time for a rebirth of our own sacred traditions. It’s time to heal the Sacred Feminine.

Tracee Sioux is a Law of Attraction Coach at www.traceesioux.com.  She is the author of Love Distortion: Belle, Battered Codependent and Other Love Stories. Contact her at traceesioux@gmail.com.




575 replies
  1. Heather says:

    Hear, hear! Congratulations and kudos. My eldest got her period this year and we’re celebrating with a trip with her, my best friend (her dearest auntie), and me to Sanibel Island. I decided,when I didn’t know if I would be around for my girls’ weddings, that making a big deal of their crossing of the girl to woman threshold was going to be my gift to them and me. Neither of us can wait.

  2. Emily says:

    Thanks to you & your family for the NYT article. It’s honest & informative and helps me know better how to support my 8 year old daughter.

  3. John says:

    I came across the NYT article and hence your blog in some path I cannot retrace – and it makes me miss the days when my now 20+ year old girls were the little angels of preschool I knew they would be, I had hair, and still “had a clue” – the latter slowly being regained now as the wise Paw Paw of two boys, more coming.he
    For the Dads who see this article – and the Moms who will point it out – this is the issue that divides families, creates HUGE Mom v Girl divides that last years if not decades.
    1. Be slow to anger,
    2. You will never forgive the loss of family time to “work time”,
    3. Be slow to anger, (repetitive but critical),
    4. Find the little things you and your girl can conspire to do on your own (and make sure Mom doesn’t feel left out, has her own “special things and times”) and keep doing them – they will evolve in time, and later you may find out they kept on doing them because they knew it was important to you.

    God be with you, in my prayers.

  4. Shirley Fai says:

    I was actually planning to get a copy of the NYT magazine because I really enjoyed reading it together with my daughters…Thanks for the post…

  5. cmichaelsny says:

    Anything glamour orientated will probably help. I would head more towards the makeup and glam as the gossip girls can now get an abundance of on line, where as they may want a magazine for makeup and hair styling secrets and tips.

  6. Objector says:


    Tracee, very courageous of you to speak to the New York Times. It’s likely that your daughter has a high degree of sensitivity to BPA, a synthetic hormone disrupter that has brought on early puberty in girls. Please check out this article. And note that the FDA knows this, and disregards the studies. A few days ago it refused to ban this dangerous substance which yields $8 billion for the companies that produce BPA. It’s in all plastics, soup cans, soda cans, water bottles and is an industrial waste byproduct. The FDA is made up of former executives from the companies that benefit by pushing this toxic waste on our children.

  7. Rachel Wilkerson says:

    I came across your blog from the NYT article and I just wanted to say thanks for putting your story out there; I’m sure it will help countless women and their daughters. When I was eight years old, my mother saw a talk show about this topic and took me to an endocrinologist right away; I started getting monthly hormone injections to delay puberty for a few more years. If it weren’t for other people willing to talk about this publicly, it’s likely that I would have experienced some of the risks that the NYT article outlines.

    Best of luck to you and Ainsley!

  8. Tracee says:

    Thank you for your comment Rachel. Can you tell us if there were side effects to the hormone injections? Would you recommend that route for parents?

  9. Divinne Grace says:

    I haven’t got a copy of this magazine and I think this will have a lot of benefits…

  10. tinafreysd says:

    The basic job of an editor is to assign stories, edit the submitted products, review picture selections and page layouts in order to put together the finished product. Executive editors may focus on developing and implementing the magazine’s editorial policy and focus more on administrative issues..

  11. Carol says:

    I will definitely buy this NYT magazines! It is very cool and I love the content of it. Congratulation for your achievements!

  12. Susie says:

    Speaking of puberty, it had actually been the scariest thing I had anticipated. But it turned out to be well. Hey, who doesn’t want to develop a sexy body? haha!

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