Empowering Girls: Mourning Hillary

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Upon my return from the Texas Democratic Convention I’m experiencing grief.

I’m mourning the death of a dream.

Prone to weeping. While doing my make up, driving the car, working out. I’m just quietly weeping. I haven’t wanted to write. I’m depressed and emotional.

I talked to lots of people this weekend and some of it made me excited and some of it made me sad, angry or depressed.

I bought the I heart Obama shirt for my daughter, but my heart wasn’t in it. My heart is broken.

I don’t want that shirt. I don’t heart Obama, she said. I heart Hillary.

She helped me put the Obama stickers on my car. We’re resigned. Defeated.

I’m trying desperately not to be angry or feel betrayed by other women. Not to be angry at my husband. Not to be angry. But that only leaves me with the emotions of defeat and sadness and hurt.

Why?

I have yet to see a man champion any woman’s issues, personal or political, as if they were his own.

My father has not. My brothers have not. My husband has not. My ex-boyfriends have not. My church leaders have not. My bosses have not. My elected officials have not.

Not. One. Single. Time.

Apathy is no better than misogyny.

Where there was a light at the end of the tunnel that seemed to get nearer, it has receded again at least 4 and possibly 8 years away.

Ainsley will be 14 years old before the light comes close again, unless the next president is a total failure. Which do I hope for?

I didn’t realize how much I wanted Hillary to win. It’s not really surprising. But, I regret not doing more. I should’ve donated more money. I should have wrote more about her. Made phone calls. I was too afraid of criticism.

Right now I’m just going about my business weeping and mourning.

Presidential Score: Men 44. Women ZERO.

4 replies
  1. Candeelady says:

    I offer sympathy. Mourn for a day but for your dds sake maybe you should explore some of the successful women in political offices and the supreme court so she sees the progress we have made. Or maybe a female leader in your home town. I hate to let her think it’s years before women have any power over their world again, unfortunately change comes in baby steps. Share the baby steps with her

  2. Tracee says:

    I hear what you’re saying Candeelady. I really do.

    But, it’s a little difficult to be told to “look at all the other women in power” when we rank 71st in the WORLD in female political participation on any level – local, state or national. Seems everyone else has found a way to at least take toddler steps in female representation.

    I think I’ll be focusing on The White House Project quite a bit over the coming years. And Annie’s Lists and Emily’s list, both organizations designed to elect women and Momsrising.org to notify candidates that apathy will no longer be tolerated.

  3. Anonymous says:

    I think it’s inevitable that a woman will be elected president sooner or later (preferably sooner). I think that alot of female Obama supports are idealistic about that and basically take it for granted. It is very disappointing that it’s not happening this time around though.

    The Obama supporters I know (male and female alike) would really like to see a woman president, they just had some issue with Clinton. Which I think is totally fair. The fact that she is a woman isn’t more important than everything else. She just happened to be a very qualified candidate who unfortunately was up against Obama.

    Rebecca

  4. Tracee says:

    I’d like to believe in the inevitability of it Rebecca.

    What I heard this election was 10,000 “legitimate” reasons to hate strong powerful women.

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