Breathe, Thumbalina, Breathe

By Tracee Sioux

Close your eyes and breathe in pink puffs of air full of courage and calm, black air full of all your pain and fear.

In two three and out two three, pink courage in two three, and black fear and pain out two three. Great, we’re almost there, just keep breathing like that until we get there.

I’m teaching my daughter how to not freak out in a crisis, like the other day when she smashed her thumb in the car door and we were on our way to the doctor to have it lanced.

Now, one of the things my husband appreciates about me the most is that I AM calm in a crisis. A wasp flew up Ainsley’s shirt and stung her three times before we knew what was going on (we were in the house). I calmly had her in the shower with mud on the stings within a minute. He was very impressed that I remembered what to do and did it in the face of hysterical screaming while remaining super calm. Just as I did when I had to hold her down while the doctor cut her thumb open. Poised and graceful under pressure in a real emergency – that’s me.

However, if it’s not a real crisis then I’m a bit of a complainer, whiner, drama queen, freaker-outer, spaz.

If my toe nail hurts I’m going to complain to the whole family about it. If there’s drainage or congestion from allergies, my kids and husband and anyone who asks me how I am will know that I’m suffering from everything that grows in Texas because I’m allergic to this place.

The other day Ainsley had her cousin over to play. Both were blessed with siblings last year. Both suffered through their mothers’ pregnancies. When I went into my bedroom I found this scene:

Ainsley lying in bed with her back propped on several pillows, a ball under her shirt. Adjusting herself ever so slightly to relieve the pain in her back and the swelling in her ankles.

Bring me my book, husband. Can you get me some water? Oh, my back hurts. Bring me some food, kid. Oh, I’m pregnant!

Having had a pregnant mother of his own this seemed like exactly what happens when mommies are pregnant and families are held hostage by their discomfort. So, Cory followed every order to the T, never questioning his role as the expectant father.

It was hilarious. And a very accurate portrayal of what goes on in our house when a baby is expected (which explains the readiness of my husband to volunteer for a vasectomy.) I would think a very accurate portrayal of what goes on in most houses (except those strange women who actually LOVE being pregnant – whatever!)

Okay, women deserve a free pass for everything when they are pregnant.

But, I also realized that I frequently complain and make a drama out of nothing when I’m not pregnant.

I have heartburn, stomach acid from those nachos are burning a hole in my esophagus. My head feels like it’s going to explode. My feet are like icicles, I may have to get them amputated due to frostbite. I’m so sick of these allergies, I am seriously considering moving anywhere but this God-forsaken place where everything that grows seems determined to suffocate and kill me. I can’t take one more year of living without central air and heat, I seriously don’t think I can live through it anymore. It’s so hot it’s like an oven in here, I’ve got to go to my grandma’s before this house cooks me and the kids, we can’t even think.

Honestly, my bitching and complaining doesn’t bother me — it kind of amuses me really. It’s like a writing exercise where I make the description of how I feel funny, strange and apt. Of course, it’s exaggerated by about a billion (I mean, really 103 degrees is extremely uncomfortable, but it would have to be like 150 degrees to cook the kids wouldn’t it?)

The only reason I understand that this is so annoying is because the behavior is creeping into my daughter and all I really want to teach her is:

Suck it up! I’ve even heard myself say stupid nonsensical things like, There’s going to be a lot of pain in your life and you need to learn how to manage it and control it rather than complain and freak out about it.

Who am I kidding? Not my daughter. Not my husband. Not a single person on the planet probably – except perhaps me.

So, while I am teaching myself to manage the little microscopic dramas in my life: stepping on a freaking Lego I told you to pick up yesterday, how many times have I asked you to brush your hair, we’re late why aren’t you ready?

Why don’t you ever listen to me?

What she should say to me, but what she will never say because she will be punished is: I do listen to you, but I’m only five and it’s hard for me to tell when you’re full of crap!

194 replies
  1. jen says:

    Hi Tracee! It’s Jennifer. We used to work together at Barron’s years ago.

    You sound like you have really grown into a wonderful wife and mama 🙂

    I saw you on freecycle, and thought I would say “hi.”

  2. So Sioux Me says:

    Hi Jen,

    I would love to reply to you, but do not have an email address for you! Please email me directly at Thanks so much for the compliments! Forward my columns to all your friends!!!

    I started a book club last night and would love to invite you – so email me for sure!


  3. jen says:

    My blog is at but I have jumped ship the past two months. I’ll com back sometime…lol.

    Book club sounds fun. Whacha’ readin’?

  4. SonjaSig says:

    best firm mattresses 2017 best mattress store arizona mattress topper sale buy mattresses in ypsilanti michigan
    best mattress 2016 macy s mattress sale 2016 mattress sale near me top mattresses 2015 reviews
    best organic baby mattress 2017 mattresses atlanta ga mattress sales dallas texas size of california king mattress inches

    costco novaform mattress toppers best memory foam mattress toppers reviews serta icomfort mattress reviews 2016 mattresses
    mattress topper sale cambridge ontario mattress sale near me today best mattresses reviews 2015 mattress sizes in the us
    memory foam gel mattress toppers at kohl s top rated mattress toppers 2017 memory foam gel mattress toppers at costco firm mattress topper walmart

  5. SonjaSig says:

    the best mattress for 2016 best mattress review consumer reports mattresses in paso robles gel foam mattress topper costco
    sealy 3 memory foam mattress topper reviews recommended mattresses 2016 mattress comparisons reviews mattresses indianapolis indiana
    consumer report best mattress 2015 mattress sales austin texas dimensions for twin size mattress mattress stores minnesota

    cheap mattresses for sale online queen sizes top mattresses 2016 review discount mattresses atlanta ga prices for king size mattresses
    best foam crib mattresses 2016 serta 2.5 memory foam mattress topper reviews costco mattresses 2017 futon mattress reviews compare
    best mattress in 2016 cheap mattresses online $200 memory foam mattresses in indianapolis crib mattress size in inches

  6. SonjaSig says:

    cbd oil for pain control – cbd oil capsules CBD oil for sale
    cbd oil for pain thru amazon – best way to use cbd oil for pain management – cbd oil for cancer patients in colorado –

    pure cbd oil for sale cbd oil for dogs with anxiety – cbd oil for anxiety reviews –
    cbd cannabis oil for sale best potent cbd oil for dogs with cancer – oil cbd –

  7. Thomasjitle says:

    cheapest cialis 20mg viagra vs cialis vs levitra samples healthyemale.ruhttp://www.healthyemale.ruhealthy man viagrahealthy malehealthy manhealthy man viagra offerhealthy male viagrahealthy man viagra scamhealthy man complaintshealthymalehealthy man pharmacyhealthymannew healthy manhealthy man viagra reviewshealthy men viagrahealthy man pillshealthy man viagra pillshealthy man cialishealthy man reviewshealthy man viagra salesviagra healthy mannew healthy man viagrahealthy man viagra radiohealthy man radio adhealthy man generic viagrahealthy man viagra adnew healthy man viagra reviewhealthy man radio adshealthy male internethealthy meds viagrathe healthy man viagrahealthy men viagra offerhealthy male viagra scamcomplaints about healthy man viagrahttp://www.healthy man viagrahealthy male viagra offerhealthy male viagra reviewsgeneric viagra healthy manhealthy man viagra reviewshealthyman.conew healthy man complaintshealthy man generic viagra suppliersradio advertisments for healthy manhealthyman viagrahealthy man viagra radio adradio ad viagra for healthy maleshealthy man viagra phone numberhealthy man radio commercialhealthy man viagra healthy man viagrahealthy malehealthy manhealthy man viagra offerhealthy male viagrahealthy man viagra scamhealthy man complaintshealthymannew healthy manhealthy man viagra reviewshealthy men viagrahealthy man pillshealthymalehealthy man pharmacyhealthy man viagra pillshealthy man cialishealthy man reviewshealthy man viagra salesviagra healthy mannew healthy man viagrahealthy man viagra radiohealthy man radio adhealthy man generic viagrahealthy man viagra adnew healthy man viagra reviewhealthy man radio adshealthy male internethealthy man viagrahealthy malehealthy manhealthy man viagrahealthy malehealthy manhealthy man viagrahealthy malehealthy manhealthy man viagrahealthy malehealthy manhealthy manhealthy man viagrahealthy malehealthy man generic ed drugs cialis black viagra generic dealers in canada viagra vs cialis best price for generic viagra sale cialis professional Viagra Online

  8. Refugiohox says:

    cheap ed meds online ed medicines generic for erectile dysfunction ed medications best ed medication what are the best generic ed drugs online erectile dysfunction medications ed medications compared cheap ed medication ed medications online ed drugs online best erectile dysfunction medication in canada ed drugs meds for ed erectile dysfunction medications sold in canada erectile dysfunction drugs generic ed drugs cheap erectile dysfunction drugs-canada canadian erectile dysfunction drugs ED medication order erectile dysfunction medication generic drugs for erectile dysfunction erectile meds ed drug cost comparison buy erectile dysfunction drugs generic ed medication erectile dysfunction medication prices ed meds on line cheap ed drugs best erectile dysfunction drugs for sale online erectile dysfunction drugs online meds for erectile dysfunction generic ed meds erectile dysfunction drugs canada ed drug best ed drug best deal on ED meds cheap ed meds medication from canada ed erectile dysfunction generic name for ED drugs buy erectile dysfunction drugs online cheap erectile dysfunction medication generic erectile dysfunction medications erectile dysfunction drugs comparison impotence drugs online common drugs for ed generic impotence drugs ed meds cost effective ed drugs canadian erectile dysfunction drugs rosa implex pvt ltd staxyn vs viagra buy amoxicillin 500mg no prescription lexapro generic without prescription low cost pfizer viagra sildenafil 100 mg online pharmacy without prescription free viagra samples before buying cialis online without prescription

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. […] they pull people’s fingernails out as a form of torture? When my daughter lost her thumb nail after smashing it in the car door you would have thought it was about as painful as natural birth. I […]

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.